Monday, 06 July 2009

• Post CONvergence 2009. . .

  
  

  I went to CONvergence this past weekend - for the first time in 5 years.  I had to look it up in my weblog archives as to when the last time I went to CONvergence was, and it was in 2003.  I only went this year from Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon, it was all I could handle with my social anxiety.  I'm considering pre-registering for next year so if I have to bail due to my social anxiety it won't be such an expensive one day at CON.  They no longer offer one-day passes.  My other option is to get a room to myself so I can sleep and get drunk before I go back out amongst the strangers, lol.

  I learned something this year at CON, I learned that I am completely out of shape!  I may still be thin and look good, but I do not get anywhere near enough physical exercise.  I only spent one day/night at CON and for the last 2 days I've been barely able to walk because my calves hurt so much.  My back is killing me as well.  I'm going to have to start exercising, lol.  Of course, wearing better shoes would probably help as well. 

  All-in-all I had a good time, or at least what I remember was good anyway, lol.  I had no intention of getting drunk at CON this year, was planning on only drinking a few Guinness, but apparently I also had some rum, 15-year-old scotch and vodka.  I remember starting with the beer, I remember having some rum, I even vaguely remember the 15-year-old scotch.  I have no idea when I had the vodka, or where it came from.  The last thing I remember was sitting outside in the smoking area having a good time.  We had a room, but I woke up in a car.  I found my way back to the room and that's pretty much when my social anxiety came crashing down on me and as much as I really wanted to stay I knew I couldn't.  I wish I could find something that truly helped with this anxiety/agoraphobia issue.  I suppose it goes deeper than that really, I've cut myself off from so much that a good time inevitably leads to hell no matter what.  I crash too hard from these things.  But never mind that, I'm using my other weblog to dump all my messy emotional shit onto. 

  We ran into a handful of people we knew, not anywhere near as many as we used to hang out with at CON last time I was there.  I guess I wasn't the only one who gave up on CON for a while.  Of course the first person we saw that we knew was on our "to avoid" list.  Lucky for us that was the only "to avoid" person we ran into, everyone else were people we were hoping to see. 

  Ken was supposed to call me when he got home today, but he didn't, so I can't fill in my missing memory until I talk to him, lol.  Hopefully he took some pictures I can post as well.  I should be sleeping but my sleep schedule has been completely messed up since Thursday. 

   

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